Living HELL!

So I'm sitting here in my office home alone. Got to say that I love having time to myself from time to time. Well as I was sitting here I thought I would go through some old pic to get some for the boys scrapbooks. Well I came across some moments in Aydens life that I really wish we didn't have to go through! well I think the pictures will speak for themselves!


This is us taking him up to his floor


This is us giving him his med to help put him to sleep (under)

And this was my living hell! This is Ayden TRYING to wake up after surgery. When I walked into the recovery room and saw my little baby laying there moaning in paid hooked to all these tubs and machines was HELL at its best! I walked over to his bed side and I didn't see my baby he wasn't there in side. I thought I had lost him. I just wanted to rip him away from that nurse and hold him so tight in my arms and make it all better. But when she put him in my arms i couldn't wake him up, I couldn't stop the pain, i couldn't do anything other then pray to God to give me back my little Angel! I told him that its wasn't his time I still NEEDED him. I sat there for hrs waiting, pray, crying for him to wake up. Seeing the nurse all nervous didn't help much either. The surgen even had to come back down to see him... Just sitting here writing about it all brings all the pain!







But God didn't take my baby! Nope he gave him right back to me. And for that I'm thankful for each SECOND hes in my life.




And now a year letter if you looked at him its like nothing ever happened to him. Hes my perfect little boy! He never stops. I think hes very grateful to be here and takes every moment for all he can! He's amazing! The only pain we face to this day is the memories that we (Jason & I) still have of it all and the pain of knowing that Ayden was one of the healthier kids in that hospital. I could ONLY image what all the other parents have to face. There were babies in Ayden's room that had never seen a day out of a hospital... So I end with this. Be grateful for what you have! When you think life can't get any worse IT CAN. And last pray, pray every night for all those who truly need it! My heart goes out to all those families I saw and my prayers are with ALL those little brave and STRONG babies fighting for life.